Politics: Exactly where did Rahul Gandhi go wrong?

By taking birth? No no, we’ve seen much more stupid people on the throne earlier. This will be a serious review and will try my best to not to make it funny.

Hahhahahahaha.. i’m sorry.. i’m sorry..i couldn’t stop myself from putting this image in the blog. I mean..seriously…this guy had the best opportunity to run this country and the congress party like the way HE wanted. But hurray! he was too imbecile to understand that. From his body language to his quotes..”escape velocity of Jupiter” was C.R.A.P. ( see more such gems at http://whycongresslost.in/ ). He waves the way some school kid cleans his class’ blackboard and he pulls up his sleeves every two minutes to show his aggressive attitude but it looks as if his tailor stitched him a kurta with a much longer sleeve that he could ever manage. Remember when he tore the manifesto of one of the opposition parties, so bloody juvenile. Work on the body language Sir!

I used to read in the history books that successors in the kingdoms were not competent enough hence the kingdom diminished.  And I wondered how would they be like, because whilst surrounded by efficient ministers, how can the things go wrong? Now, I can connect the dots and see how kingdoms collapsed. A leader is supposed to be the brain of the party and others are just like senses. If my skin is telling my brain that the cup of tea is too hot to touch and if I still go forward and grip it, I’ll face some really sore consequences. Mr. Gandhi was totally oblivious to the actual India and it seems as if the ministers left no chance to spoil Mr. Gandhi. He seems like an overgrown child who has been brainwashed multiple times so that the day he gets enthroned, becomes a puppet to the kingmaker.  Seems like a conspiracy or maybe just a theory but anyhow he is yet to learn a lot unlike his competitors who project themselves as patriots & corruption-busters and who actually seem to have a plan.

Bollywood: My favourite actor Nawazuddin Siddiqui

He looks as a chaiwala but i guess chaiwalas are in trend these days(Slumdog millionaire, Modi etc.). But when he performs in front of camera, he's one really fine actor! Kahaani, GOW, Talaash..brilliant! simply brilliant!

Baap ka, dada ka, sabka badla lega re tera Faizal!

And we twist: 7 vows of the Hindu marriage.

We'll know that there are 7 vows in a hindu wedding. Where bride and groom do the spinning-spanning around the fire whilst the pandit do some rap in Sanskrit. For all you who don't know what is the meaning of those sanskrit chants, and also what they "actually" mean(as per present times), read this. The perception is of a classic arranged marriage, forced at this new generation guy and girl who hardly know each other but are about to take the holy-shmoly vows! Let's see what these vows mean to them.

First vow: 

धर्मेच अर्थेच कामेच इमां नातिचरामि ।

धर्मेच अर्थेच कामेच इमं नातिचरामि ॥

Meaning: Initiating the promise, the groom says that their love has become firm by taking the first step. He promises to provide everything for her as well as family’s welfare and happiness.

Actual meaning: Initiating the promise, the groom says that now he has been well trapped. So, to keep his mummy,papa, bhai, bhen taya, tayi, chacha, chahi, chote chacha, choti chachi, mama, mami, maasad, maasi, and some non relevant people who came in the wedding happy, he has to work like a bonded labour and kill all his ambitions, happiness, dump all girlfriends and selflessly sacrifice all the happiness for this unknown woman who'll legally become his wife in the next 20 minutes.

M: In return, the bride happily takes the responsibility of home, food and finances. She hereby promises to satiate all her responsibilities for the welfare of the household, family and the children.

AM: In return, the bride will unhappily takes the liability of cleaning house, cooking food 5 times a day, nourish & run after kids and make monthly budgets! She has to keep her career aside, hobbies beside and abide whatever has been written and being said in Sanskrit. 

Second vow:

M: Initiating the second vow, the groom promises to protect the bride and the family by all his strength in god’s name.

AM: Initiating the second vow, the groom promises to be a Jackie Chan and *Dhishum* away the goons to protect the woman and the toddlers, in the name of god (which god, you decide!). 

M: In return the bride promises that at all times, she shall continue to fill his heart with strength and courage. She promises to be his strength and stand by him in all tough and turbulent times.

AM: In return the bride promises that all the times, she shall jump, stretch, spin, shake..ahem..basically be a cheerleader with shiny pom-pom in hands and cheer for the fainting husband(instead of joining husband in bashing that bulky-purse-snatching-asshole-chor who dared to punch the dear hubby). She promises to cheer and just stand by him in all tough and turbulent times.(because that's what is written & being said in Sanskrit)

Third vow:

गृभ्णामि ते सुप्रजास्त्वाय हस्तं मया पत्या जरदष्टिर्यथासः ।

भगो अर्यमा सविता पुरन्धिर्मह्यांत्वादुःगार्हपत्याय देवाः ॥

M: In the third promise, the bride accepts the groom as her husband and promising this she says that every man in her life will be secondary for her. Her husband will be all and all for her in this whole universe. 

AM: In the third promise bride says, ditch your bitches now or..

M: In return, the groom accepts the bride as his wife and promises for their prosperity and wealth as a couple. He also wishes good up-bringing for their children.

AM: In return the groom promises that together they'll have the best food, roam in a ferrari, put on the best fashion brands and also wishes that may the kids be intelligent enough to grow up good by themselves. But, says nothing about extra-marital affairs because, well it is not written in Sanskrit. 

Fourth vow:

गृभ्णामि ते सुप्रजास्त्वाय हस्तं मया पत्या जरदष्टिर्यथासः ।

भगो अर्यमा सविता पुरन्धिर्मह्यांत्वादुःगार्हपत्याय देवाः ॥

M: In the fourth promise, the groom confesses that she has brought sanctity and auspiciousness in his life. He prays to God to bestow him and her with good children and grant them a long life.

AM: In the fourth promise, the groom confesses that the girl whom his maasi's best friend recommended and is being married to, is cute. He would never be able to bag such a cutesy in his frigging life! He prays to god and whilst praying can't stop about thinking of making babies.

M: In return the bride promises to acquire happiness and harmony via respect, faith, mutual love and understanding.

AM: In return the bride promises to try her best to transform the langoor she's being married to, into a nice gentleman, by the non-violent means.(this is written in sanskrit!)

Fifth vow:

M: Giving the fifth promise, the groom accepts her has his best-friend.

AM: In the fifth promise, the groom's tubelight starts working and he comes to a conclusion that the girl is not THAT bad and tags her as his BFF.

M: The bride promises to honour the groom with all the respect and love she can.

AM: The bride promises to honour the groom with all the respect and love she can as long as he behaves with all the respect and love with her too. Saying that she also promises to care, love and respect him 10 fold if he loves her back and accepts her with all his heart.

Sixth vow:

M: Taking the sixth round around the holy fire, the groom wishes for her happiness and the bride commits to stand by his side always.

AM: Taking the sixth round around the holy fire, the groom holds the bride's hand tighter representing no intentions to leave or betray her in this or upcoming as many lives as god wishes him to live and in each, he'll make sure of preserving her beautiful smile by ANY FUCKING MEANS! The bride lowers her eyelids, smiles and displays complete faith on her man. 

Seventh vow:

सखा सप्तपदा भव ।

सखायौ सप्तपदा बभूव ।

सख्यं ते गमेयम् ।

सख्यात् ते मायोषम् ।

सख्यान्मे मयोष्ठाः ।

M: The bride promises that she has become his spouse by the law of God, holy fire and the Holy Scriptures. The promises she has made have been spoken with pure heart and pure mind. All the angels are witnesses to this fact. She shall neither deceive him nor will she ever let him down.

AM: I love you.

M: Finishing the promise ceremony, the groom promises the bride that by walking this seventh step with her, their love and companionship have become inseparable and eternal. They have experienced spiritual union in God.

AM: I love you too. 

I wish every arrange marriage could begin with such good understanding, most of the times they do. Marriages in India are still a humongous thing. It not only a union of two people but a union of two families. The new generation understands this and under the burden of this "union of families" thingy, they end up sacrificing their love, happiness and memories for their parent's wish or ego. I would request, if any elderly is reading this blog that, yes, marriage is a gigantic thing for families, but first it is the most prominent thing for the bride & the groom. Let kids marry the one whom they feel is worth their affection. Have faith in them, please.

The blog post carries a lighthearted mood and the motive of the blog is not to hurt anyone’s feelings. The interpretations are a result of the blogger's amateur thinking and please do forgive him for if he has written something that shouldn't have been. Criticism and feedback is requested in the comments section. 

References - 
http://ibelievethat.in/seven-the-7-promises
https://www.etsy.com/market/bride_groom_cake               

                  

bollywood: My favourite heroines

If i was allowed to marry two women of my choice, the two would be  Katrina kaif and Nargis Fakhri!

Twitter Bhagya Vidhata: Milestones in the evolution of Indian Social media.

Blogasode - 1

*Concider the monologue is by Anupam Kher, read it in his voice*

In its early days, twitter and facebook were just among other desi social websites like desimartini, ibibo, funmaza etc. , basically another website to add the known and flirt with the unknown. Youth met and mingled on these to pass their time, but one very day...

*Curtain opens*

*sounds of a group shouting “Jai Shree Ram! Jai Shree Ram!”*

*lights on*

*A group of women come center stage laughing & enjoying . Suddenly, a group of men come running from the opposite direction and start bashing them.  Then every woman coming  gets a royal treatment of pulling beastly from hair, throwing them swivelling on the ground and kicking boots in stomach mercilessly etc. while they cry and ask repeatedly why are they getting beaten? And trying to escape, whilst a reporters recording it all.*

*lights off, noise fades down slowly, leaving a single, loud scream of a woman crying for mercy, gets louder and vanishes.*

*silence*

*curtains closes*

2009 Mangalore, Sri Ram Sena beats up women in a pub calling them the termites of Indian culture who are spoiling the society and the upcoming generation. 

There was anger in the youth, but discussing it with parents was useless because according to them going to pub and consuming liquor is a bad thing. And, even though they condemn the incident from their heart, they will never advocate for the bashed up kids as it will give an impression to their own children that they are okay with them going to pub, which they don’t want.

Youth discussed it. The discussion travelled from a distressed minds to canteens, to group discussions and finally to facebook. As the news spread, the anger grew exponentially, but it was aimless, till Namita Malhotra channelised it by creating a facebook page called “Consortium of Pub-Going, Loose and Forward Women”. The aim was to tell the cheap politicians that they can’t use the youth to bring laurels to their dirty politics. The youth is united & connected and will strike back to teach you a lesson.  People joined the campaign on facebook in huge numbers. A scattered youth on the internet finally got united for the cause.

*curtain opens*

*a party’s office, a hall, people talking to each other and an elderly man sitting on the table discussing something with some people in suit*

*a party member comes in with a box*

“Sir, courier.”

*On the nod of the elderly man, party member keeps it on the table and leaves as he was busy in the discussion*

“Chai!” he commands.

*In few minutes, a kid of about 10 year old, in old dirty loose shirt and nicker, brings chai. Takes out the glass of chai from an old & bent steel glass holder and keeps it near the courier box which reminded the elderly person to open the courier box*

*He opens the courier while the kid gives chai to other people.*

“WHAT IS THIS?!” He shouts.

*With his index finger & thumb and with a disgusting face expression he carefully picks out a bright pink thong from its string out of the box, to which the chai wala kid starts laughing loudly and people sitting on the table join chaiwala*

*Half the people of the room go red in embarrassment and the other half red in anger, then the suited people and the chaiwala forcefully control their laughter, chuckling.*

“Sir, courier!” Comes a loud sound from the door

*and the suited people burst into laughter again with the chaiwala, this time uncontrollably*

Over 500 pink panties were delivered to the office of “Shri Ram Sena” as a protest against the goondaism they displayed at the pub in the name of moral policing. For the cowardly act of beating women in groups by Shri Ram Sena, this time the symbol was not the "Bangles" as it seemed they are ok with bangles. They needed a much blunt message this time. Hence, the "Pink Chaddi".

The “Pink Chaddi” campaign became very popular and mainstream media gave it a good coverage resulting in preventive custody of about 140 members of Shri Ram Sena(Including the senior leader Pramod Muthalik),  so that they may not create any mayhem in the city at the Valentine’s day.

Youth now had the power to think collectively, exchange ideas and act accordingly, and were good at it. This event was no less Gandhian as it shook the souls of the target, conveyed the message and obviously with non-violence. Indian Social Media unknowingly took a step towards a journey that they themselves never knew will judder the heaviest thrones of the Indian politics so conspicuously.

“Twitter Bhagya Vidhata: Milestones in the evolution of Indian Social media” is a series of blog-episodes or “Blogasodes” of the most relevant and popular events happened in the history of Indian Social Media that shaped it into what a huge power it is today.  Events mentioned are in the vicinity of reality and slightly dramatized keeping the entertainment of the reader in concideration. The motive of the blog is not to hurt anyone’s feelings. Criticism and feedback is requested in the comments section.

Blogasode -1:  Pink chaddi campaign

Happy New Year

Happy new year,
Forget the rear,
eat the fear,
and hail the cheer!

Music Maestro: Mikey McCleary

I'm not a fan of remixes but Mikey, if you're reading this, you're the baap of all the Music directors out there who try their hands on remixing or as they say "reviving" the track. You must have heard the remixes of Mikey in some movie or as some ad jingle but here i give you the list of 5 best remixes (not in a ranking order because all of these are so frigging beautiful!)

1) Chalte Chalte yun hi koi - This remix has a very relaxed and calm feel. Singer Mauli Dave has done complete justice to this song. The saxophone just adds to the lovely track making it the late night anthem. The original is form the movie Pakeeza(1972) sung by Lata Mangeshkar and music by Ghulam Mohammad

2) Yeh Sama, Sama Hai Yeh Pyar Ka  - The original is from the movie Jab Jab phool Khile(1965)  Sung by Lata Mangeshkar and Music by: Kalayanji, Anandji. This version is again sung so beautifully by the melodious Mauli Dave that it takes you to the dream world.

3) Kabhi Kabhi mere dil mei - Originally by the movie Kabhi Kabhi (1976) sung by Lata Mangeshkar and music by Khayyam. the continuous snaps along with the jazzy music makes it a peppy yet soothing track. I totally love this one by Mikey!

https://soundcloud.com/mikey-mccleary/kabhi-kabhi-mere-dil-mein

4) Dhak Dhak - Originally from the movie: Beta (1991), Singers: Anuradha Paudwal and Udit Narayan Jha, Music Directors: Anand-Milind. Revamped for the movie Nautanki Saala with the singers Saba Azad, Geet Sagar, Bruno Carvalo, Santosh Sawant is the new and awesome version of the same ol' legendary "Dhak Dhak".

5) Mast Kalandar - It is a punjabi folk song and many singers have sung mast kalandar. Mikey has produced two versions of the song with the euphonious voice of Rekha Bhardwaj. One has a nice folkish clap-and-sing music and the other is a rock version!!

Mikey, you make brilliant music which gives us a nice company in our joyful and cozy moments. I'm a fan of yours! Keep making the awesome music!!

Others, for listening to more of his work please visit Mike's website: http://mikeymccleary.com/

Cheers!